Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare has landed on Netflix, and there’s one major question you’ll no doubt have after watching it: why did Simran Bhogal do it?
To get to that question, we first need to understand the case at hand, which is explored in the new true crime documentary. Based on the podcast of the same name, Sweet Bobby centers on Kirat Assi, who fell victim to what’s believed to be the UK’s longest catfishing scam.
For nine years, she was made to believe she was in a friendship, which blossomed into a relationship and even an engagement with a doctor named Bobby Jandu. Over the course of their relationship, Kirat was broken down mentally, cut off from her friends and family, and made to believe a complex web of lies.
The scam was elaborate, involving dozens of people within Kirat and (supposedly) Bobby’s network. When the truth came out, no one could have predicted who was behind it. If you’re not familiar with the case, let it be known there are spoilers ahead!
Why did Simran Bhogal do it?
After a confrontation with the real Bobby, Kirat discovered that the entire nine-year saga had been carried out by her cousin, Simran Bhogal. Although her reasons remain ambiguous, Dexerto spoke with psychologists to learn more about why this may have happened.
There are two leading theories, the first being a “desire for control and manipulation.” There’s no denying that Simran’s actions were manipulative, whether she meant for them to be or not.
As is revealed in Netflix’s Sweet Bobby, unlike some catfishing scandals, Bobby did actually exist in real life, as did his wife Sanj and Bobby’s brother, JJ. Simran had actually dated JJ in real life.
But the versions of all these individuals Kirat interacted with were really Simran, her cousin who provided ongoing support to her as her web of lies caused Kirat’s world to fall apart.
By assuming these identities, Simran convinced Kirat that Bobby had been shot in Kenya, developed a life threatening illness, and went into witness protection in New York. Over the years, their relationship turned romantic, with Kirat eventually agreeing to get engaged to him.
Simran’s version of Bobby became increasingly controlling, impacting her work and mental state. She also created a network of 60 false identities consisting of close friends and cousins on Facebook who regularly sent Kirat messages and interacted with each other.
It truly is one of the most baffling, elaborate catfishing scandals, which begs the question: why did she do it? When Kirat asked this question as the truth came out, all Simran could reportedly say back was that she “ruined her own life” with “no expression”.
Speaking to Dexerto, Dr. Carolina Estevez, PsyD and licensed clinical psychologist at Crestone Wellness, explained, “Simran Bhogal’s motivations for catfishing her cousin Kirat Assi can be complex and layered.
“One prominent theory is that she had a desire for control and manipulation. By creating a false identity, she could isolate Assi emotionally, exerting significant power over her. This kind of manipulation often stems from deeper psychological needs, allowing the catfisher to feel a sense of fulfillment that may be lacking in their own life.”
This would fit with what Simran said about the case. Although she was offered the opportunity to be interviewed for the Netflix documentary, she declined. She did, however, say that “this matter involves events that began when she was a schoolgirl.”
Dr. Estevez went on to say, “Another possibility is that Bhogal was seeking escapism. By stepping into someone else’s shoes, she could escape her reality and experience a life that felt unattainable.
“This is not uncommon among individuals who struggle with self-esteem and identity issues, as they may find it easier to connect with others through a fabricated persona.
“Lastly, it is essential to consider that Bhogal likely keenly understood Assi’s vulnerabilities. Knowing about her cousin’s relationship struggles may have made it easier for Bhogal to manipulate her, exploiting their familial bond to maintain the deception for so long.”
NetflixThe catfishing scheme went on for nine years
Also commenting on the case, Shenella Karunaratne, licensed professional counselor, Online MFT Programs, told us, “The psychology of catfishing can be a bit ambiguous, since there are many different reasons why this behavior can occur.
“In my experience, it tends to happen because the catfisher might feel lonely or bored, and might crave that feeling of putting on another personality of someone who is more attractive or successful than themselves.”
Although catfishers can also arise from “an unhealthy crush or feeling of infatuation with someone they see as unattainable,” this seems unlikely in this specific case as Simran is Kirat’s cousin and was a significant figure in her life.
The psychology behind catfishers
Dr. Estevez elaborated on the “several motivations” that drive individuals to engage in catfishing in general. According to statistics, approximately 20,000 people are targeted by catfishers annually in the United States, making it a significant issue in the digital era.
NetflixThe reasons behind catfishing are complex
“Emotional fulfillment is a big one. Many catfishers struggle to form genuine real-life connections, so they create alternate identities online to present themselves in a more appealing light,” said Dr. Estevez. “This anonymity allows them to cultivate relationships that they might find challenging to achieve otherwise.”
Another factor may be psychological gratification. “For some, deceiving others can be exciting, giving them power over someone else’s feelings. This manipulation can be compelling and, in some cases, even addictive,” she continued.
“Finally, many catfishers are trying to avoid their issues. They might have social anxieties, insecurities, or past traumas that make real-life interactions difficult. Adopting a different identity allows them to temporarily escape their struggles, even if it comes at the cost of someone else’s trust and emotional well-being.
“Understanding these motivations helps illuminate the intricate psychological dynamics in catfishing cases, highlighting the profound impact such deceptions can have on the victims involved.”
Where is Simran now?
According to the MailOnline, as of 2021, Simran Bhogal was living with her parents in North West London. She’s kept a low profile since the incident made headlines across the world, with little evidence of her existence online.
NetflixThis is not the real Simran’s Facebook account and has been made for the purpose of the documentary
The outlet went on to say that she worked in financial services. However, in the final episode of the Sweet Bobby podcast, host Alexi Mostrous reveals that he and the Tortoise team managed to get in contact with her.
“I found out that Simran is no longer in her high powered job, that at some point between August and the time when this podcast went out, she left,” says Mostrous. “Now, I don’t know why she’s no longer there but it does perhaps feel like a step towards some sort of accountability towards consequences.”
Her lawyers also shared a statement on her behalf similar to the one shared with Netflix, which reads, “This matter concerns a family dispute over events that began over a decade ago when I was a schoolgirl.
“As far as I’m concerned, this is a private family matter that has been resolved. And I strongly object to the numerous unfounded and seriously defamatory accusations that have been made about me, as well as details of private matters that have been shared with the media.”
Even after confessing, Simran has never faced charges or prosecution from the police, on behalf of Kirat, Bobby, or any of the individuals whose identities she stole. After an 18-month legal battle, however, Simran was ordered to pay Kirat compensation and provide a formal letter of apology.
What happened to Kirat?
Following the catfish ordeal and the subsequent legal battle, Kirat Assi was able to build her life up again, including returning to her profession as a radio show host. She lives in London, and now uses her experience to raise awareness about catfishing, stalking, and identity theft.
NetflixKirat is rebuilding her life
The nine-year saga had a significant impact on her life. Significantly, Kirat always wanted to get married and have kids. But the contact started in 2009, when she was 29, and went on until 2018.
As she says in Sweet Bobby, “She’s stolen the best years of my life off of me. I am now 44 and I am doing my utmost to get my life to where it should be. Will I ever be a mum? You know, at my age now, it’s a massive question mark. But I’ve got to be responsible for my future. Simran never will be.”
Discussing the issue of online safety, Kirat says, “Catfishing, it’s like a pop culture term where it’s a bit of fun. It’s entertainment for the onlookers. I want to help break the stigma, to stop victims from being shamed.
“But we need to understand why the internet should be regulated. I’m not looking for sympathy. I’m looking for people to say, ‘This is wrong. We need to be making people accountable.’”
Where is Bobby now?
Bobby Jandu is still living in Brighton with his wife Sanj and their son, working as a skilled dental surgeon. He appears in Sweet Bobby to share his experience having his identity stolen for so long.
NetflixBobby continues to live his life
One of the many shocking aspects of the true crime case is that Simran not only assumed his identity but also that of his wife’s and brother’s in order to manipulate Kirat. Knowing Kirat wanted children, Simran even sent images of Bobby’s real-life son to her, pretending she’d play a significant role in his life as his stepmom.
When the truth came out, Simran messaged Bobby to apologize while also asking that he not involve the police. “Come on,” he says in the Netflix documentary. “I respond, ‘I will not be hiding anything from the police, and thank you for coming clean. Good luck.’”
Kirat’s lawyer later sent Bobby and Sanj the mountain of evidence detailing Simran’s online activities. “He gives me this folder… with details of this huge, elaborate scheme to convince Kirat that there is a fake version of me out there who is extraordinarily extravagant,” he says.
“But we’re just a normal family with a very ordinary lifestyle. That moment was even more shocking than the morning that Simran confessed.”
Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare is streaming on Netflix now. For more true crime news, read about Worst Ex Ever’s most infuriating episode, the details left out of the Menendez brothers documentary, and the most shocking moments in Mr McMahon.
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