Why conservative women dealing with infertility aren’t upset about Vance’s ‘cat ladies’ comment

JD Vance’s history of derogatory comments about “childless cat ladies” has fueled condemnation from Democrats, celebrities and even a Republican host of The View. But while many have pointed out how callous the remarks might feel for women dealing with infertility, conservative women who have struggled to have children are not necessarily pulling away from Vance or his running mate, Donald Trump.

Since being tapped to serve as Donald Trump’s vice-presidential nominee last month, Vance has faced a barrage of criticism for his comments about the role that childfree people should play in US society – people who, he has said, are “more sociopathic” than those with children and have made the United States “less mentally stable”. In particular, Vance has targeted “America’s leadership class”, Democrats and journalists for not having children.

“How does it make any sense that we’ve turned our country over to people who don’t really have a direct stake in it?” Vance asked Tucker Carlson in a 2021 interview. That same year, he gave a speech suggesting that parents should in effect get extra votes and argued that childfree people should pay higher taxes.

These comments, pundits have warned, overlook the pain of infertility and may turn off female voters come November. But in conversations with the Guardian, five conservative and undecided women who have struggled with infertility indicated that, while they may not have liked Vance’s wording, his comments would not affect their vote. Most plan to vote for Trump or are inclined to do so.

“The term ‘childless cat ladies’ – it is a little disheartening, because it is being used as dismissive or derogatory,” said Courtney Deady, a 34-year-old from Ohio who has struggled with infertility for nine years and is leaning towards voting for the Trump-Vance ticket. “But we definitely have more pressing issues going on in the world, unfortunately, that should be more of a topic and more of a concern than comments that are made here and there.”

Related: The Republican party’s obsession with families has taken a fanatical turn | Moira Donegan

Ashley Owings is a 34-year-old living in California who spent seven years dealing with infertility before she and her husband had a son. “When it comes to infertility, when it comes to families, these are sensitive issues that shouldn’t be weaponized,” she said. She identifies as a Republican and plans to vote for Trump. “I don’t believe that Trump or Vance weaponized this,” Owings said. “I think that, in reality, it’s just communication errors.”

About one in eight couples either struggle to get pregnant or to sustain a pregnancy, according to Resolve, a US infertility association. But while infertility may be non-partisan, attitudes around family and children are deeply rooted in political beliefs.

Sixty per cent of Republicans and people who lean Republican say that people choosing to have fewer children will negatively affect the future of the United States, according to the Pew Research Center. In contrast, just 37% of Democrats and individuals who lean Democratic say the same. Democrats are more likely than Republicans to be childfree, a gap that has widened in recent years, a Washington Post analysis found.

Growing polarization, among both liberals and conservatives, almost certainly helps explain why conservative women might shrug off Vance’s comments.

“Part of the reason our parties have become so powerful and such powerful influences on us is because they’ve become linked with all of these other social identities that are really deeply embedded,” said Lilliana Mason, a Johns Hopkins University political science professor who studies partisan identity. This heightens people’s natural tendency to gravitate towards information that affirms their belief system and rationalize away information that could otherwise make them question it.

“If a Democrat were saying these things, they’d probably be pretty upset and take it really seriously,” Mason said of conservative women. “But because it’s making their party look bad and conflicting with their sense of their party being the right party – and not just right, but good – they need to switch their evaluation of it in order to keep their vision of their party secure.”

Independent voters may respond differently to Vance’s comments, since they tend to vote based more on policy than party loyalty, Mason said, while cautioning that they are also influenced by countless other identities and affinities. True independents make up only a fraction of the electorate – only about 5% of women do not lean left or right – but that could make all the difference in a close election.

Caroline Harries, president of the Christian infertility support group Moms in the Making, is an undecided voter in Texas. She said she voted down-ticket Republican in 2020, but didn’t vote for president.

“Would it be impactful for him to show compassion? Or to address people who have struggled to have a family?” she asked of Vance. “Yes.” She hasn’t decided how she will vote this year, but isn’t “ruffled” by the comments.

In a recent appearance with the rightwing podcaster Megyn Kelly, Vance said he did not mean to criticize ordinary people who don’t have kids. “This is about criticizing the Democratic party for becoming anti-family and anti-child,” Vance said. Vance has slammed top Democrats for not being parents, including Kamala Harris, the presumptive Democratic nominee for president and a step-parent.

Related: JD Vance attacked AOC for ‘sociopathic attitude’ towards children and family

Kaitlyn Heslep, a North Dakota 26-year-old mother of one whose family struggled with infertility for three years, partially agreed with Vance, although she thinks everybody’s opinion matters. “If we have more kids, we are contributing more to society,” she said.

Vance’s comments don’t change Heslep’s plan to vote for him. “At the end of it all, I really just want someone who is going to fix the economy,” she said.

But Heslep hesitated to call herself a Republican because she disagrees with the growing movement, championed by parts of the GOP, to limit or ban in vitro fertilization.

In June, Vance was part of a contingent of Senate Republicans who helped shut down legislation that would have established a federal right to IVF.

Deady was disappointed, but she still supports Vance. “I have to applaud him for standing up for those values,” she said.